KEYBOARD WARRIOR

by SmileySaurus

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credits

released July 24, 2017

xXREDXx - VIRTUALLY EVERYTHING
xXPINKXx - ALBUM ART AND BASS SOMETIMES

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about

SmileySaurus Selby, UK

LIKE OUR FACEBOOK PAGE OR WE'LL SKULLFUCK YOU.

Merging beatdown/slam, children's pop and all-round cancer. Just download the album, it's free you fucking dickhead. It's fun for the whole family. You, your wife, your kids, Tyrone the black guy your wife sleeps with, Tyrone and your wife's kids, etc. Why are you even still reading this? Just download the fucking album already, you fucking cuck. ... more

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Track Name: Playing Rock, Paper, Scissors In Order To Decide How I Finger-Fuck Your Wife
Rock,
Paper,
Scissors,
Your wife,
Is getting,
Fisted,
Scissors,
Paper,
Rock,
Your wife,
Can suck,
My cock,
Rock,
Scissors,
Paper,
I am,
Going to,
Rape her,
Track Name: Definitely Foreign
Pack your bags,
You’re going home,
fuck off back to whatever,
Godforsaken hole you crawled from,

I don’t want your shitty culture,
Dragging mine way down,
I don’t want you opening,
Your mini-markets in my town,

You’re the niggers of the white race,
You fight, you rape, you rob,
Fuck off back to your slav ghetto,
And get a fucking job,
You’re the niggers of the white race,
You fight, you rape, you rob,
I’ll round you up, stick you all on a boat,
Cuka blyat, kurwa, fuck off.
Track Name: Deliberately Giving Myself Cancer In Order To Personally Waste All The Make-A-Wish Foundation's Money
Inject myself with a tumour,
And sign onto the dole,
Collecting all my well fare,
Smoking cig packets whole,

I hate those stupid skinhead kids,
They do fuck all and get benefits,
If there’s one thing that I can’t stand,
It’s those deathbed kids at disneyland,

You get to jump queues because you’ve not long left,
I wonder what makes you so special?
I can never tell whether,
It’s genetic or environmental,

Well I guess I just have to see,
I will become my enemy,
If you can’t beat ‘em join ‘em,
It’s worked so far,
Now that I’ve given myself,
Leukaemia.
Track Name: Ethnically Challenged
Low IQ,
But too high T,
You dirty coons,
Have no history,

“We wuz kangz”
I fucking doubt it,
“We wuz kangz”
You’re brain damaged,
“We wuz kangz,”
I fucking doubt it,
“We wuz kangz”
Ethnically challenged,

“Tha’s rite!”
It’s fucking plain to see,
you niggers aren’t the same,
fucking species as me,

Incompatible,
With any nation,
You don’t belong,
in civilisation,
Track Name: A x C-Men
Putnam's gay and so are you
Putnam's gay and so are you
Putnam's gay and so are you
Putnam's gay and so are you
Track Name: Grand Theft Pushchair
Left unattended,
That’s a bad idea,
Luckily a responsible,
Adult is here,

You’ll never see your son,
Grow into a man,
‘Cause unlucky for you,
I’m making off with your pram,

I’m stealing candy AND a baby,
Because the mother’s lazy,
I’m stealing candy AND a baby,
Because the mother’s lazy,
Track Name: I Punched You In The Throat And Told Your Friends That The Bruise Was A Love-Bite
I’m taking a trip,
To see a group I despise,
Retribution unfolding,
On battered wives,
Striding into the shelter,
Like I own the place,
Kicking every dumb cunt,
With a bruise to the face,

I punched you in the throat,
You deserved it,
You wouldn’t shut up,
Was it worth it?

More TV ads on domestic violence,
Saying it’s against the law,
So to make you suffer on in silence,
I broke your fucking jaw.
Track Name: Kevin Barr Is A Fucking Retard
[NOTE: KEVIN BARR IS THE NAME OF THE FIRST AND ONLY PERSON TO PURCHASE ANYTHING FROM SMILEYSAURUS. WE DON'T KNOW HIM, AND HE DOESN'T KNOW US. THIS SONG IS FOR HIM, WE SINCERELY HOPE HE REGRETS HIS PURCHASE. ALSO, IF YOU THINK THAT BUYING THE ALBUM WILL GET YOU A SONG, THAT'S NOT HOW THIS WORKS, FUCK OFF]

Our shit is free for a reason,
You’re a fucking retard, you’re a fucking retard,
Are you deaf and blind or just plain stupid?
You’re a fucking retard, you’re a fucking retard,

You better not buy this one too,
Or I’ll feel like some greedy Jew,
I go out of my way to make this shit,
But you spastics will still pay for it,
Track Name: Mile of Kikes
Why do Jewish men,
get their foreskin lopped?
’Cause kikettes can’t resist something with 10% off

The Holocaust
Is my wet dream
I’ll change your name
to Lampshade-Stein
Track Name: Stop Calling Black Kids "Niggerlings," The Word Is "Niglets."
“Don’t tell me how to live my life,”
Are words of whores and faggots,
Stop saying you’re half white,
You’re darker than the rag-heads,

A cup of water and poison,
Is still fucking poison.

You fucked a nigger,
For a publicity stunt,
Now you’re a single mum,
You mud-shark cunt.
Track Name: Oh Wow, You Can Blastbeat
Oh wow,
You can blastbeat,
So can my nan,
And she’s dead,
Track Name: You Got Lipstick On My Knuckles, You Fat Whore
You got lipstick, on my knuckles,
You fat whore,
A heinous crime that I’ll never forgive you for,
You got lipstick, on my knuckles,
You fat whore,
Just tell your friends that you walked into the door again.
Track Name: Star Wars Honestly Isn't That Good
The Empire is cool,
But that’s about it,
The books are gay,
And the films are shit,

That Kike Abrams,
Couldn’t write,
A decent film,
To save his wretched life,
He just stole the first movie,
Which wasn’t that great,
And replaced a decent set of heroes,
With a cunt and a spade,

Lets be honest,
Rogue One was shit,
But there was one great part,
Even I'll admit,
I fucking loved that vader scene
He’s the one black guy I’ll watch on screen
Track Name: Stealing Seth's Ideas - The New Album By SmileySaurus
I wanted to cover one of their songs,
But honestly what’s the fucking point?
I’m just rehashing everything they did anyway.
Track Name: There’s A Filthy Homeless Teenage Girl That Always Sits On This Same Street; Finally, A Step Forward in Gender Equality
How badly do you have to fuck up life,
As an attractive late teen girl?
Just find a rich fuck, be his wife,
Fuck it, even I’d give you a whirl,

The smell of drugs and dirt and feet,
As i approach you in the street,
I pretend to care when I ask “What’s wrong?”
You homeless girls sure turn me on,

You’re out here stuck in the cold,
Covered in dirt and mud and piss and mould,
Well this must be your lucky day,
You can suck my dick for a place to stay.
Track Name: The Straightest Thing You Ever Did Was Wipe Cum Off Your Chin Instead Of Swallowing It
You’re at pride parade,
Every fucking year,
But still insist,
That you’re not a queer,

You claim you’re simply an ally,
A myth I’ll debunk,
We can all easily tell,
You like swallowing spunk,

“No I’m not gay,” you claim,
“I just have a heart,”
But everybody smells,
The cum that’s in your farts,

Anyone with half a brain,
Knows you’re a human semen stain,
You taste jizz and I taste bile,
You’re a faggot in denial.
Track Name: You Worthless Fucking Chad
While I drown,
In self-hate,
And pick on others,
To compensate,
There you are,
Looking hench,
With a dumb fucking barbie,
Watching you bench,

I hate you all,
I hate you so,
‘Cause I’m a manlet,
And I can’t grow,

“I was looking at myself in the gym mirror, when a solid 10/10 walks up behind me.
She’s checking me out.
‘Nice body,’ I say,
My deep chad voice obnoxiously loud.
And that’s when she blushes,
Bright red, for all to see.
‘Wow thanks,’ she giggles.
Confused, I say ‘No, I meant me.’”
Track Name: Using Muslims To Kill Jews, Like How You Use Piss To Blast Shit-Skids Off Of A Toilet Bowl
The only thing a towel head is good for,
Is killing off a kike,
Other than that, a kebab only,
Belongs on a fucking pike,

A no-state solution,
Nuclear radiation,
They’ve both failed,
Say hello to post-Israel.
Track Name: You Better Hope That Reincarnation Is A Thing, Otherwise You're Stuck As A Woman
I honestly can’t stand women. Their opinions are always underdeveloped and based on nothing but feelings and what someone else told them. They thot-post everywhere they go, because most of them have virtually nothing to contribute to conversations.

Literally everything is made easier for them because they’re generally worse at virtually everything, yet they still complain about it being made harder for them by some outside force, usually men, even though they just find things harder because they’re dumb and inferior.

I know I’ll probably die alone, but honestly that seems preferable to trying to find a sane woman who is actually interesting or at all knowledgeable regarding anything.
Track Name: Wet Nightmare
Sometimes,
I have a dream,
About being an underage teen,
And getting diddled by a man,
Named jimmy saville,
I wake up, and i think it’s real,
The burning in my arse,
I still feel,
I got diddled by a man,
Named Jimmy Saville,

Sometimes I have fantasies,
About being a baby,
And hooking up with a man,
Named Ian Watkins,
I snap out of that fantasy,
Put on my lost prophets CD,
And I,
Day dream about a man,
Named Ian Watkins,

I have thoughts that I can’t erase,
Of some sort of heavenly place,
I live in a town,
Named rotherham,
And in this magical land,
I get fucked by muslim pedophile gangs,
In this,
Englistani town, called Rotherham.
Track Name: Why Did You Stop At Six Million, You Faggot?
Did you run of Zyklon,
Or run out of time?
Still plenty of trains left,
On the Auschwitz transit line,

Why’s everyone a fucking Jew?
From bankers to the fucking pope?
I’ll round you up, time for a wash,
Except I’ll make you the fucking soap,

This will really take some time,
The shower room has a real long line,
Come on, Hans, let’s up the speed,
Let’s thin the queue and gas the heebs.
Track Name: You Stepped On A Snail and PETA Kicked Your Teeth In
How dare you?
All life is sacred,
I made tofu,
And fucking ate it,

I’m with PETA,
I’m a vegan,
Filthy meat-eater,
I’ll kick your teeth in,

Eating food?
You fucking cunt,
I’ll brand your arse,
For a publicity stunt,

You monster!
You keep thinning herds,
Now get your teeth,
On the fucking curb!
Track Name: Your Childhood Dog Got Put Down And That's Hilarious
Chinky chinky China man,
He was feeling hungry,
Licking on his yellow lips,
Your pug is looking lovely,

You thought the vet would put him down,
Quickly and humanely,
But Dr Wong has other plans,
As Spike goes nice with gravy,

Your dog died and that’s hilarious,
Your dog died and that’s hilarious,
Your dog died and that’s hilarious,
Your dog fucking died.